Easy From Now On

During my flight from Texas to LA, I set there at my window seat and watched as the plane took off. How from one moment I was on the ground and within what seemed like seconds I was in the sky. Clouds floating so close to me, I couldn't help up wonder if heaven was close by. It seemed peaceful, but why plan your life around being in the sky, why do we concern our lives around where we go when it's over, when we have a entire lifetime ahead of us? 

Life, how does one get the most out of it? Living is about finding, searching, everything we do in our life revoles around ourselves; even if you spend your lifetime helping others, your doing it for one reason, to find yourself. As each day passes, even if it's little changes or just another dull day; we are always working toward one goal, to find out who we really are. 

I use to be the type who wanted marriage, children...I planned and planned out my life. That's not how it goes, as awful as it sounds, we can't always get what we want. If we did, then we wouldn't be living for something. Life is like a map without the "X" to mark the spot, just a journey without a stopping point in till you reach your dead-end. 

I can not continue living off a to-do list. I hate being jealous, I hate judging others, I hate wanting friends only to rid my own loneliness. I want to try something new, I want to find who I am. No more wasting tears over others judgement, it's not worth it. I am going to focus on myself, find what truly makes me happy. No more planning for the future, I want it to remain a surprise. I will open my eyes, mind and heart to except all emotions... love, hate, pain, happiness, hope, regret and beauty. I will take chances, even if I end up falling and above all...I want to spend every moment of my life discovering what makes me, me.

-HMM